The people who come running to hug you after you haven’t seen them in awhile are my favorite type of people.
Can the science side of tumblr explain why my ass itch
wash your fucking ass
Wash your attitude
nothing will fuck you up as much as the realization that there’s no real reason the alphabet needs to be in order
I HATE THIS TEXT POST
imagine if you named your kid dad. just dad.
Actually that’s just his nickname. His real name is [trucks honking], but everyone just calls him dad.
That point in a piece of fanfiction where you can tell something embarrassing is about to happen so you start fucking around on tumblr because you’re a huge baby with a crippling overabundance of empathy.
I do this with every media I consume. I pause movies and have to walk around and prepare myself for second-hand embarrassment sometimes.
i wish i had a little toilet and sink in the corner of my room so i wouldnt have to walk all the way to the bathroom
That’s a prison cell
In prison your food gets cooked for you as well.
I’m beginning to think murdering people I don’t like wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
you do realize that there’s probably police officers on here, right?
oh no what are they going to do send me to prison?
when I was like 9 my neighbors asked me to watch their fish and cat while they went on vacation and I was like “lol k” and while they were gone tHE FUCKING FISH DIED so when they got home I apologized to the mom and she was just like “no need to apologize, I turned the filter off so they would die because they are too much work. You did nothing wrong” and she gave me 20 bucks and that is the story of my first contracted murder